i had got to the solo
and the choir broke out
in song.
i felt i needed
a sense of permission
to not belong.
i gave in to my
weakness
and i was
no longer alone.
before i caught
my breath
i was giving
it away.
i spoke
to be heard,
to say
whatever
you may
like to fall
on ears that overlook
social pariahs.
i was a circus act
in my own head
shoving down throats
linguistic fire.
i move
i move
to the beat
the beat of
my own drum
and i move
unprotected.
fearlessly.
responsible
to
no one.
the prescription
for happiness
has never been
in anyone
else’s hands.
the confidence
was never worn
or how a fashionisto
would stand.
like solace
is seduction
as social
is heroin
to my addictive
nature.
i grow
more aware
of what
i need
as i mature.
like isolation
is an aphrodesiac
to grinding thoughts
in my head.
so is the ferocity
of sharing
where i have come from
like stains
still marking
my bed.
i move
i move
to the beat
the beat of
my own drum
and i move
unprotected
fearlessly
responsible
to
no one
it is not
strength
to stand apart
and to claim
myself.
it is
my birthright
i own it
and
no one else.
no man
can fulfill
the richness
of self entitlement.
to a poor man
this is narcissism
but i just
call it
resentment.
my life
has played out
a song
sometimes
with discordant
chords
and loops.
today
i move
to the beat
of my own drum,
as i choose.
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